I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
