He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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