Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
