someone get that fucking seahorse.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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