if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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