Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Pooping to opera.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
