woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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