all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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