i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
