That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So much Jack, so little girl.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I smell like Dick and happiness
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