I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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