Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
