Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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