Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
