was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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