woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Everclear isn't food dammit
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
