Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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