Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
