So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm at about main and main street
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
