God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
