i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
