great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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