Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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