I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
