grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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