just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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