shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
