Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
