If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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