I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
