idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
