Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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