remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
