K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
