Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
