How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
