Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
