She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
