I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
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Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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