I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
