Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
