if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
