love makes seman taste better
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Someone came in the potted fern
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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