I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
third nipple confirmed
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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