Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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