its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
