Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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