Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
