Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
