You're my little dorito
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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