Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
