I hate your face
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
