U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
