is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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