you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
