You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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