So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I have post one night stand depression
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