Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
