I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize