brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
