I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
